STABILISERS, 2019. Stainless steel table, hand dyed satin, cotton string, stainless steel box, pencils, markers.

Dimensions: 183cm x 61cm x 89cm. Read the UNFOLD exhibition essay here.



Single Channel HD Video, 10:42min. Dimensions variable.


Artist/director: Tatjana Este

Voice/poetry: Debbie Ford, psychoanalytic psychotherapist

Performers: Benjamin Hancock, Alexandra Petrarca, Tatjana Este

Videography: Robert Este

Sound: Robert Este

Editing: Robert Este, Tatjana Este





Who am I?

How can I define myself?

How can I tell you who I am? I hardly know myself

I want to connect with you

So you can know me and I can know you


I place myself at your feet, your feet of clay

Grounded, yet not

Longing for a sense of wholeness

A sense of identity

A sense of connection

I feel myself pull towards you

Hold me

Enfold me

I want to see through these eyes with a sense of awareness

With a sense of authenticity

See my real self, my true self

See me yesterday

Hear my memories

Now see me today

See me tomorrow

See me with you

Through your eyes I can see myself

Define myself

See me in the world

At one with all

Stretch out that which constricts me

That which keeps me small

It is only fear

The struggle

The thoughts that can dominate and inhabit my mind

My body

My reality

That can impinge on my emotions

Trapping me in my skin

Suffocating me

I need to be free

At one with the world I inhabit

At one with my self

And at one with you


One, two

Be aware of your body finding a shape

Enclosed and wrapped in fabric, the fabric of your skin


Breathe in

Breathe out

And again

Three, four

Listen to the sound of my voice

You are where you need to be

Here in this moment

Open to being

Being present in your body


Allow your face to soften

Allow your eyes to soften

Allow your body to soften


Follow your breath

Let it come out through your nostrils, slowly


Enjoy the space between the breaths

Enjoy the space between the sounds

The place of silence, peace

The place in which to dwell

Eight, nine

Let your mind be still

The sound of a drawing line envelops you


Let go



The fragile line she drew around her body



No longer able to hold her in

Keep her whole

Keep her together

She is fading


Falling apart

Falling towards darkness

Falling away from the light

She suffers

Softly she cries

I need you to see me

I fear I may disappear

I need you to hear me

I am afraid I may lose my voice

I need you to understand me

I don’t understand myself

Together we shall make this understandable

Together we will create another dimension of space

A matrix, a potential space

A safe space

A secure space

A container where we can together explore the meaning of her suffering

A contained and containing space

Free from impingement or intrusion

From without

From within

Where she can unfold

Unfold her world

Inner and outer

See her undifferentiated shape

Find representation of her mind, her body

Dwell in the space within herself, within me

Where we find meaning

Find relationship

Digest and process the indigestible, the unpalatable

That which lies in the unconscious


A space to nourish, to nurture and replenish

Hold and sustain

Maintain and build upon

Break down to rebuild

Construct to protect

To define, to redefine

Create new

Discover self

Discover other

Discover relationship

There is nothing to fear

The darkness lies within

Together we can face it

Together we can make it bearable


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